Never Send a Taxi to Brigadoon

23 Feb

Brigadoon is a Scottish village that appears once every hundred years, and the rest of the time is unfindable. They say it’s fictional, but that’s a lie, because I live there. I know this because everyone who tries to find our home gets lost. Our hamlet is not on the map. If you use a GPS, you’ll end up somewhere completely different. Giving directions is a dead loss, because we’re not specifically anywhere: we’re on the way to various places, and scattered among fields. It’s so spread out that any visitors who make it to our door are forgiven for thinking we have no neighbours at all.

Now, as Sod’s Law would have it, our rustbucket of a car fell to bits a fortnight ago, leaving us with a motorbike to get around on. Inevitably, our pets chose this period to fall to bits themselves, necessitating five veterinary consultations over the past nine days. Obviously, I  had to rely on taxis to get me to my appointments on time. You see the problem. They got lost, didn’t they. Every single one of them.

I developed a little routine. I’d book them to arrive fifteen minutes earlier than I needed them. Then when they were ten minutes late, I phoned them up and let them know I knew they were lost, and talked them through their journey to reach us. One taxi company sent three different drivers before one finally happened on our house by accident: he had parked beside it to look at a map, got confused, then knocked on our door to ask for directions.

The last-minute kerfuffle of directing drivers and ushering animals into pet carriers meant I kept forgetting my camera. I wanted to show you photos of Broccles (rabbit) and Twogoose (guinea pig) visiting the surgery. It was Broccles who required the most visits, bless him. His damaged eye had needed an examination and three check-ups. The injury is healed now, but it’s uncertain if he’ll ever regain full vision in that eye. As for Twogoose, the vet reassured me that I am Doing Everything Right for his dodgy bottom.

Here’s  Broccles sharing his post-eye-medicine treat with his best chum Colin.


7 Responses to “Never Send a Taxi to Brigadoon”

  1. Barry February 23, 2011 at 8:08 am #

    It seems to me that you have enough critters by now to form a team. All you need then is a small cart, and someone with a red flag, whose job it is to walk ahead of you and warn that “we’re not a car, we’re not a car”.

    • Snailquake February 23, 2011 at 3:43 pm #

      Do you mean sort of like a team of huskies?

      • cloudhopper February 23, 2011 at 4:47 pm #

        Do you mean sort of like a team of huskies?

        Yes. But they don’t necessarily have to have a deep voice.

        • Snailquake February 23, 2011 at 8:23 pm #

          That’s just as well. I could maybe dangle a carrot in front of them. Although, they might just get into a big tangled fight then…

  2. Astra Wally February 23, 2011 at 11:10 am #

    I have never heard anybody describe Brigadoon so perfectly!
    Excellent story
    Much Love
    Astra Wally


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